Psalm 23

Yesterday I saw Psalm 23 just about everywhere. It seemed no matter where I turned, I saw this reference. In the middle of the night I was praying. I kept thanking God for the favor I seem to have with Him. He keeps overwhelming me with His love and brings blessings out of nowhere. It is absolutely nothing I have done, but He continues to show me that I have favor. As I was praying, I remembered that I kept seeing Psalm 23 during the day. I could not stand it anymore so I opened up my Bible to see if there was something I was supposed to see in this passage.
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

There are many things that God wants me to see in this passage, but I will publicly share a couple of them. It was cool that I was just thanking Him for His favor and then this says, "surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." And the best part is DWELLING IN HIS HOUSE FOREVER! Thank you, Jesus! Totally the best part for me is to be with Him always. This is what I long for and live for.

There is also something else that I was praying about before I saw this passage. Something really bad happened yesterday. There was a shooting in some apartments directly by Natasha and Samuel's school. Two people were killed. They had 5 schools on lockdown. As I was praying, thoughts began to run through my mind and I began thinking with my fleshly mind. I began regretting sending my kids to school because what if something bad happens to them like a shooter coming in the school? Before I went to bed, I was watching the news and found out this killer is on the run and has not been caught. I did not know that so a fear starting creeping in. I even had a thought that I was not going to get out and walk with the little boys today because what if this guy comes running through my neighborhood? I was even thinking I need to remember to lock the door and stay inside with the blinds closed.

Okay, ya'll...I am thanking God for the favor He has on my life. I start to thank Him for keeping my children safe that were right next door to the shooting. I begin praying that this guy gets caught ASAP and then all of a sudden, I have thoughts running through my head. Jesus MUST think I am a lunatic. How can I pray the things I do and then He hears my thoughts? Is that not double minded? I say I trust Him and then my thoughts do not show it...more on double mindedness in a moment. You know what? Jesus does not think I am a lunatic, though...haha. I may at times think He thinks that of me, but He doesn't. :)

Let me back up. Earlier in the day (before I even knew about the shooting), I received a message from a friend. Here is the exact message:
By the way, just saw this and thought it was encouraging. Let your faith be bigger than your fear.
I did not realize how prophetic that would be actually until this morning. God was preparing me in many ways yesterday. He was showing me Psalm 23 all throughout the day although I did not look it up until late in the night. Also, I got this verse early in the morning yesterday. James 1:2-8 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

I know I am all over the the place with my writing, but try to stay with me here. I write like I talk and it is a lot of rambling. Some people will be able to get what I am trying to say and I thank you for your patience.

I am trying to lose 15 lbs my March and I had written my MIL and explained I was not doing well. I talked about how I could not get motivated and I needed something else to get me going besides motivation. I also said you would think with all my numbers being bad that that would be motivating enough (numbers like cholesterol, triglicerides, etc.. - ALL were not even in normal range). But for some reason, I get excited in the beginning and then it goes out the window. This was her response and it was perfect for me!

It’s not motivation! So, if it’s NOT motivation ~ or wanting to ~ what is it?? Before I just answer that… first let me ask you… how many verses do you know that are about telling the truth, speaking what you mean to do, letting your yea’s be yea’s and your no’s be no’s. How many other verses can you look to that talk about a double minded man? What we declare or commit to is never based on whether we want to or not, it’s based on that we gave our word to something. Consider that what will take the three of us to March is that we gave our word to it. It’s integrity! Not that we’d be bad or wrong if we slip and don’t follow through with what we said we’d do, but that we’d acknowledge that we weren’t our word and re-commit and then do what we said we would do!! I’m looking to this three months to grow my own word… knowing myself as someone that can give their word to something and then stick to it.

WOAH! That hit me hard! It was so true! It is about doing what I SAY I am going to do. It is about me saying something and actually sticking by it and bringing it to completion.

But do you see what also just happened? That was the second time in the day that I also saw the word "double minded". I also didn't know how prophetic that word would be, either. God was showing me so many things throughout the day. You can call it a coincidence, but I think not.

Even though I was being double minded last night, it is not a knock on the head by God. He is not being mean to me. Many people think when they are feeling convicted that God is a mean God always ready to knock them down when they make a mistake. No, He is still loving. Think about this - if you let your children do whatever they want, is that love? If you see them doing something wrong and do not correct them, is that love? You want to protect them and stop them if you see them doing any kind of destructive behavior to themselves or anyone else. If God let me do whatever I want (or even think whatever I want), He wouldn't love me. Call me crazy, but it is true and what I believe about Him. If our parenting is supposed to mirror His parenting towards us, then love also means correction. I WANT to be corrected. I NEED to be corrected. That is how I grow. That is how He prunes me. He gives, but also takes away. It is for my own good and for HIS Glory!

I have learned that I need people to just tell me like it is. Don't sugar coat things or make something that it's not. Or don't make something sound better than it is. If it is not okay, say it is not okay. When I open up about some of my bad days with my children, people tell me I am just human and we all yell sometimes. At times, I like hearing that because I know I am not alone and other moms yell sometimes. It seems about two times a month I lose it. I am getting so much better than I used to and I am proud of myself. But, I know something is wrong when I act that way or shoot my kids down for no reason at all. I could just be in a bad mood and I am mean to everyone in my family. Little things could set me off one day that does not set me off the day before. Jamie (my cousin) said to me, "It's NOT okay to be that way towards your children." She said many more things that were straight to the point. No beating around the bush or sugar coating it. It made me see what I was actually doing to them when I act like that. Other people just said, "You are hard on yourself and you are a great mom." Even though it made me feel better at the time, it did not really help me to NOT act like that. Does that make sense? I need someone to come along and actually correct me instead of always patting me on the back. If I want to change certain behaviors, I need to be corrected.

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
That is exactly it! It is all for Him and I only want the glory to be His.

I hope this helps someone else like it helped me. These are two separate things, but two things He showed me yesterday. Let your faith be bigger than your fear and allow God to correct you. He does it in a loving way and if you feel condemnation it is not from Him. There is no condemnation for those that are in Christ (Romans 8:1).

If you have surrendered your life to Jesus... That does not mean saying a certain prayer with certain words that someone said you HAVE to say in order to be saved. Your words to God are your own. You could have just said, "Lord, I give you my life. I want to follow you all the days of my life." You could have said, "I need you, Jesus. I want you to come inside my heart and live in me." You could say, "Take over my life and lead me." It is the heart that God saw when you said those words. If you truly believe when you said your words that Jesus died for you and came back alive, then you are saved. He has forgiven you of your sins (Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 1:13-14, Colossians 2:13-14, Psalm 85:2, 1 John 2:12, Psalm 103:3, Acts 13:38-39, Isaiah 43:25, Hebrews 8:12, just to name a few)and the Holy Spirit is inside of you (Ezekiel 36:26-27, John 14:16-17, Acts 1:8, Romans 5:5, Romans 8:26, 1 John 3:24, Eph 1:13-14, Galatians 4:6-7 - I don't even know all the ones to write). You will begin to hear His voice. You will begin to know which one is His. You will begin to know when He is speaking to you through signs, scriptures, other people, dreams, etc... If you still are having trouble hearing Him, tell Him. Talk to Him and be real. Explain that you don't know how to hear Him. You hear people talking about how God told them something and you haven't had that experience with Him. Ask Him to show you. Ask Him to help you hear Him and see the things He wants you to see. Ask every single day. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in everything you do and in every decision you make. Pray it everyday. Surround yourself with people that will build you up and not tear you down. Christians are the worst at tearing other Christians down. Lots of people limit God and mold and shape Him the way they feel He should fit into their lives. Ask God to bring the right people to help you in your spiritual walk. Ask God to get rid of things that could be hendering you from following Him. Ask Him to show you what those things are. The way my relationship with Jesus is, I have been told I am in a cult. I have been told I believe in "false prophets." So, be prepared to be told you are crazy. Do not let that scare you because living for Jesus is the best way to live. I do not know how people get through this life without Him. He will never leave you and He will never forsake you (Hebrews 13:5, Deut 31:6, Deut 31:8, Joshua 1:5, 1 Chronicles 28:20, Isaiah 42:16, just to name a few). His love for you is unconditional, it is unfailing, you have been set apart, and He has great plans for you.(Ephesians 3:16-21, Psalm 36:5-7, Jeremiah 1:4-5, Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 49:15-16, Psalm 48:9, Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 136:26, Lamentations 3:22-25, Luke 12:6-7, 1 John 4:9-10, John 3:16, Romans 8:35-39, 1 John 3:1, and there is soooooo much more!). Did you know that He sings over you? Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Explaination of what I said above to explain more of what I meant.

Romans 10:8-13 But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

The sample prayers I mentioned above say, "Jesus is Lord" if any of you are not understanding my simple prayers. The point I am getting across is that it does not need to be a fancy prayer to cry out to God. He sees your heart and knows when you want Him to be "Lord" of your life. He also knows when you are confessing with your mouth that you know you have been a sinner and cannot live without Him. You can say those things to Him as well if you'd like. Let's let God be the judge of their heart and their words. Let's not ever say they didn't say the right words so they are not "saved." Many people say the right words by "man's religion" and it is only words they are saying and are never saved. Someone else can cry out to Jesus and can barely speak at all because of their brokenness and wanting Him in their life and they are truly saved.

I hope you take away from this blog that there really is a God who wants a personal relationship with you. You cannot live off someone else's faith...not even your pastor's or spouse's. It has to be personal. He wants to be involved in your life. Let Him be real to you. He is alive. He is not someone who is watching you from far off. He is interested in you and all the details. Nothing is too small for you to bring to Him. He is not interested in someone else's life more than yours. You have to believe that because I know there are many times when you don't. This is for you! He cares about YOU! Don't let these be just words you are reading. It is not about a denomination, either so don't make it about that. Surrender your life to Jesus today and experience the best ride of your life. Experience a love like no one else on this earth can love you. You will know that you will live with Him forever. "Most assuredly, I say unto you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life." (John 5:24)