JC had 3 days of vacation time left for this year so we went camping last week. His birthday was October 31st and it was nice to get away during the week. We were right on the water and the boys fished everyday. Samuel walked out on a log to fish further out and he fell in. I didn't see it because I was with Jacob and Gabriel in the cabin, but JC, Samuel, and Grisha came in laughing. Samuel was soaking wet and laughing at himself for falling in. We all had so much fun. We built a fire every night and just enjoyed being together. We love having Daddy with us and we were sad that he had to go back to work today. We took walks and looked at all the beautiful trees that are changing colors. This time of year is my favorite. Grisha brought his bike and he was able to ride it a lot. Sometimes I wish we could live at a campground. I love it so much.
Things are going well. I already posted about the major problem we have had, but really, everything is still wonderful. I mean, Grisha is starting to act like a teenager sometimes with an attitude and we don't appreciate that at all. But, we explain to him that pouting is not allowed and when he is told to do something, he needs to answer with a "Yes, mam" and not an attitude. He doesn't always act that way, but he has many times.
The only reason I am talking about the negative is because I don't want people thinking it is rosey all the time. It's not, but I still love it. I love having 4 boys. They are all blessings and each one of them is so special to us. All of them are going to have faults whether they are adopted or our biological children. And even though there are bad days, the good days still outweigh them.
Everywhere we go, people always look at me and tell me I have my hands full. They act like 4 children are a burden and it gets to me. I can't go anywhere without someone making a comment about me having 4 or especially because they are all boys. I have awesome boys and I wouldn't trade them for anything. They are not a burden and my hands are not full. If something is full, it is my cup. :-)
We were at a store yesterday and there was a lady that had one little girl. She was so loud and disrespectful to her mother. The lady couldn't control just one child. The mother was telling the little girl that she should not talk like that in a store in front of everyone. I was thinking to myself that she shouldn't talk like that no matter where she is. Why would the mother say that? Because she is embarrassing her? That should not be allowed even at home. We had four children in this store and they were all controlled and behaved. Now tell me who has their hands full? It is definitely not us...I would say you can have your hands full with just one child. I feel people look down on us because we have chosen to have four children. I can't understand what it is to them because they aren't even the ones raising them. It seems to bother everyone else and I don't know why. Sorry to vent but since I have had four children, I get ugly comments everywhere. Even the other night a little boy got out of his car and saw us walking. He yelled to his mom in a disgusting way, "Mom, they have a LOT of kids!!" It actually just made JC and I laugh. We laughed about it for awhile. We don't even think we have a lot of kids. A big family to me is the family that has 18. Four is NOT a lot of children.
Don't get me wrong when I say my children are behaved. They aren't always behaved and they have misbehaved in public. They are not perfect, but I can tell you this. They will not talk back and that is something that is absolutely not allowed in our family. I know they are human and they are expected to have bad days, but being disrespectful is not allowed. It hurts me when I see children being disrespectful to their parents.
Parents - start out when your children are young and not allow that. They need to know their boundaries from the get go and know what is expected of them. Allowing it to happen will only make it worse once they are older. You are the parent, not them. You want them to learn to respect their authority and if they don't respect you, they will not respect their teachers at school or their boss when they get a job. You are only doing damage to them. Be firm and you will not regret it. Your children will love you for it. You can be firm and still be a loving parent. My children know they are loved and they have never questioned it. I love them so much that I care how they turn out.
Okay, I'm off my soapbox. Thanks for letting me ramble today.
Monday, November 02, 2009
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6 comments:
I really appreciate this post. A lot of people, even well meaning people in my family (and just other people) have made statements about so many children. i only have two and was told by people close to me that I needed to go to work and not to have any more children. I'm only 37 and my children will leave the nest in about 4 years. I'm already mourning the fact that I didn't have more. My mom and dad had five and I wish my home had more children in it. We had less stuff that her sisters kids growing up but now stuff doesn't matter.
You're welcome, ramble anytime. As you know, we have 4, too, and I know exactly what you mean.
I love your comment that it is your cup that is full. Amen.
Love ya, Rie
Love it! I also hear the "hands full" ad nauseum. I think the fact that mine are all so young (5 and under)strikes some people as ridiculously irresponsible. I've come to answer most "hands full" comments with a smile and say "YES that's the best way to be!" I sometimes elaborate "who wants to be empty handed?" I agree with wanting people to know that it's not all roses, but I've run into an attitude of "well, you asked for it" whenever I do relate the weariness and exasperations and problems unique to a family with more than 1 or 2 children. So I almost feel compelled to put on a cheery front no matter what.
Thanks for sharing Ashley. I so wish I had more kids when I was young but I can't do anyhting about that now. But I am so glad GOD has shown us that adoption is a good way to get away from being an empty nester. I just can't wait to get the girls here. Still believing before Christmas. Of course that could be Jan 7 not Dec 25 which ever one God wants. I just want to go get them and hug them and love on them and make cookies =) feel free to ramble anytime you need to. If you want to call and do it I am a good listner.
Hi, wonder if you would give an advice. We are in process of adopting 2 girls, and expecting a baby.
We thought at this point the girls would be home, but they aren't (complications). Now we are VERY close to get a travel date, but also VERY close to our due date. I actually think there is a 50% (even more) chances that hubby would be away while I deliver.
This scares me a lot, and I have no idea what to do... Have hubby travel to Ukraine and pray for the best, or hold everything and ask for a travel date in February. This would mean my girls "stuck" in an orphanage 2 more months than the necessary.
I am so lost.
Would you have any suggestion/opinion?
Thank you so much
Sandra - can you please send me your email address? I have lots of questions to ask to help me understand your situation better. Email me - luvinmyboys9@yahoo.com Thanks!!
Thanks for all the comments. Wow, Sheryl...I agree...stuff doesn't matter and it won't when their older. Thanks for that.
Marie - love ya!
mom-e-mae - LOVE THAT!!! I see it differently now that you said that. Yes, that is the best way to be. I know what to say now to people. "I wouldn't want to be empty-handed." LOVE IT!!
Lynn - you are going to have sooo much fun with your girls!!! Wow...can't wait!!
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